Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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