yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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