Can i not drive my cunt home
I bet he comes in French.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
