allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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