ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
