O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
