Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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