I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
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when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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