i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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