my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
