real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
