So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
