the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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