He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
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Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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