and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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