What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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