I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my liver is dry heaving
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
