Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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