i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
