So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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