if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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