this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
