is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
