she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize