Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
