it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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