so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
