i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
