im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
