mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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