If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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