I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
