YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there