So drunk its hurt
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol