i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
