I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday