I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
