who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
