We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
