Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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