Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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