STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
