Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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