Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
