so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
