I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so let's talk penis.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
