I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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