I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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