DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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