i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
