Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
