every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
