No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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