so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
how do you play pong handcuffed?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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