your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
