at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize