i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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