the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
