is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
