Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
