oh god the rape fog is back!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
