I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pants are for mortals
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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